Thursday, August 25, 2005

Ninja Bandit Home Invasion

I meant to post about this yesterday. I can't believe I forgot.

Yesterday started out as a relatively normal day here in my quiet South Jersey town. I woke up feeling really ill (the effects of having my sick baby neice here the day before) but that didn't change the fact that I had a million errands to run. The bank and the post office wait for no one.

At the post office, I was happy to see some new blood. Actually, I have no idea if this guy was new, but I've never seen him before. He was young and really funny (he jokingly put the "This window closed" sign up when I walked up with tons of stuff to mail) and a refreshing change from what you normally get at the post office. (Of course, he'll turn out to be the one that eventually snaps and runs through town brandishing a gun, but I digress.). He made me laugh out loud, so shout out to Liam!!

I'm getting sidetracked.

While writing out my Delivery Confirmation slips, a news report comes on the post office TV about... and I swear to God, I'm not making this up... a "Ninja Bandit Home Invasion." Yes, you've read that correctly. Ninja. Bandit. Home. Invasion.

Apparently, a man was awakened at around 6am by a noise in his home. As he came to the steps to investigate, he was attacked by a man carrying a gun and wearing a black ninja costume. (Still not making this up).

The assailant had cut the phone line and smashed in the patio door with a rock. He escaped with the victim's wallet (which was later found in the nearby woods) and a change jar.

As if this story wasn't amusing and... well, crazy enough, it happened in MY HOME TOWN. Yes, my quiet, mild-mannered suburban South Jersey town.

That makes it SO much funnier. :-)

(Don't get me wrong. It's totally not funny that this guy got robbed and pistol-whipped in his own home, but since he's okay, I think it's alright to laugh about the fact that ABC News is calling it a "Ninja Bandit Home Invasion." You can't begrudge me that chuckle).

Click here to read the (extremely poorly written) story. Or even better, click here to read the version where I've taken the liberty of correcting the errors like my 'Film As Art' professor did to my Clockwork Orange paper in college. They must have had an intern do it or something.

Oh well, at least Liam the Post Office Guy and I got a good laugh about it.

1 comment:

Flicstix said...

HMMMM, and i want to come and see you over there why???
I will remeber my ninja get up though, I am sure I will blend right in!!