Sunday, August 28, 2005

Odd Dreams Are Made of This

I had a WEIRD dream last night. It was one of those dreams that morphs into something completely different than it was when it started.

At the beginning of the dream, I was at some dorms in college (which, consequently, was in the same building as my mom's work -- not the case in real life) and I had ordered some food from some really expensive hoagie place (only they were calling them "heros" in my dream, which can be explained by the fact that Tony kept talking about "veal cutlet heros" on Who's the Boss as I was falling asleep). Anyway, they kept calling back to say "Just 40 more minutes" and I finally got pissed off. My mom was going to be done work soon, and I was going home with her, so I just told them to cancel it.

Apparently, this sandwich place turned out to be a cult-like thing... well, not a cult... I'm not really sure how to explain it. Let's just say the guy who ran the place was PISSED that I cancelled my order, and he came after me. To make matters worse, it was the REALLY creepy actor who played "Abraham" the Cult leader on that one episode of Law & Order: SVU. He's like REALLY creepy. I think he was also in Buffy. Let me see if I can find a picture.

Ahh yes, here we go. Would you like THIS to be following you through the streets of Philadelphia? (Only picture him with longer, blonder hair, and dirty like he was on SVU).



ANYWAY, I won't get into too much detail (because it was LONG) but it involved me running through the corridors of the Philadelphia Inquirer building (which was also a clothing store in my dream), stealing a homeless person's bike, and hopping a train and running through the cars asking people to switch clothes with me, and if anyone had a wig. I woke up just as he was catching up to me. (Alright buddy, I'll eat your f---ing sandwich!!!).

Anyway, I was only awake for about a minute before I fell back into sleep, and back into an even more psycho version of the dream. It was almost like the same dream, but fast-forwarded... because now I'M homeless. I've become like a con-artist who uses different sob stories and stuff to find places to sleep at night. I'm running from the police, too (not sure why) but I'm also still being pursued by "bad guys" as well. Somehow, these Japanese mobsters are after me and they keep trying to lure me to them with a hurt dog. Ahh, but I'm too smart for them!!

Cut to me in line inside some swanky club, waiting to get into a Duran Duran concert. I'm slinking through the crowd (with an asian woman and her two kids, as well as someone else whom I can't remember much about, but I think she was some weird dream version of my friend Nicole -- sidekicks that I've picked up along the way somehow). ANYWAY, I pushed past these two women and go into the VIP room, where they're checking passes. I decide to call Paul, the band's manager to get me in. There's no signal on my phone, so I have to trek back outside.

While outside (after getting my hand stamped for re-entry, of course) I see a car pull up. A door opens and inside is nothing but that damn hurt dog. There's a voice saying "Please help me. Come here." (creepy, right?). I see the reflection in the window of one of the Japanese mobsters on the ledge behind me, ready to pounce on me. But what do I do??? I continue to try to call Paul, because now I have my heart set on going to the Duran Duran VIP party. (That's right, even in my dreams, my priorities are completely out of whack).

Just as I'm getting through on the line, this Japanese guy (whom I swear at times was actually drawn in Japanimation style anime) jumps down. With my catlike reflexes, I jump back into the "club" (which is lit more like a K-Mart), lock the door, and hide under a table (where Rod Stewart happens to be sitting).

The Japanese guy crashes through the glass (I guess it was locked) and starts shooting up the place. He then runs towards the back (where my beloved VIP party is being held) to look for me. Rod, who somehow remained unscathed, helps me up onto a high-up bay-window, to hide behind a curtain. I asked if he could see me, and a woman yelled, "Of all the women in the place, he'd have to remember that you had on a purple shirt and black skirt to know that was you up there" (??).

Then I woke up.

If anyone out there who reads this blog can interpret dreams, feel free to make something out of that nonsense. I think I'm losing my mind!!!

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