Sunday, November 13, 2005

The Barnyard Says, SHUT UP!!

I cannot stand Rachael Ray.

My mom was playing some old school Dr. Mario earlier, and when she turned it off, the Food Network was on, but the sound was muted. $40 A Day was on, and there was Rachael, walking through the streets of some town or another, no doubt yammering on about something I don't care about in her shrill little voice. As I watched her I realised that, even on mute, she is probably the single most annoying person in history.

Seriously, does anyone ever watch her? I've only caught $40 A Day once or twice when my mom had it on, but I was totally bored by it. The premise of the show is that you can travel to just about any city on vacation or business or whatever and eat 3 great meals for under $40. She always manages to do it, but it's totally not realistic. First of all, she only ever drinks water with her meals, and most people just don't do that... nor do they want to. Secondly (and much more annoyingly), she is like the crappiest tipper ever!! $1.44 left for a $19 meal! Crappy! Let's hope the producers of the show left a little on the table when the cameras stopped rolling.

As if that one show wasn't enough, the Food Network decided to give Miss Ray a second show (and also a third, but I've never seen that one so I'm not going to comment at all -- other than to say that it's probably just as nerve-wracking). Anyway, the other popular show she has is 30 Minute Meals. Glutton for punishment that I am, I tend to watch this one a lot more frequently. I can't really explain why, seeing as within seconds I want to tear my hair out, but I guess it's like seeing an accident on the side of the road. You don't really want to see it, but you look anyway. Or maybe it's like when something tastes really horrible and you're like "Ugh!! This is so bad! Taste this!" I don't know.

Anyway, if you haven't seen Rachael Ray or any of her shows, I'd advise against it. That is, unless you like sickeningly chipper and somewhat goofy cooks carrying bowls and stuff around a kitchen saying things like "Retro cooking is yummy yummy yummy!" or "If there was a game show for like, carrying stuff... I'd TOTALLY clean up!" (imagine it with dim-looking wide eyes and overactive hand gestures). Oh yeah, and can she PLEASE stop calling extra virgin olive oil "E-V-O-O"?? But whatever, if you like that sort of thing, then definitely tune in!

There isn't really a point to all this. I haven't sounded off at length for a while and she seemed a worthy target. I'd actually been meaning to comment on her for a while, but I left her alone until now. After all, she seems to pretty much stay out of the public eye other than her food network escapades, and you don't see her doing dumb things like lip-synching on SNL or jumping up and down on Oprah's couch, right? Well, then yesterday I caught a commercial with her in it, where she says something about her favourite dish having "the whole barnyard in it." Umm... eww! As a vegetarian and rabid animal lover, I found that to be a pretty tasteless way of putting it and thought to myself, "Right, you've done it now... you're going on the website, bitch." :-)

So that's all really. Rachael Ray is annoying. Me and the barnyard said so.

Can you say "Airbrushed"?


Mr. Toast said...

Can't say I'm one of her fans either. If you haven't already seen it, you will love this site.

Ravi said...

Rachel Ray is a total cow. And I don't mean to belittle cows with that comment.

Her cooking would make Julia child croak all over again.

What grosses me out the most, and I say this as a vegan, is that her recipes are designed to clog the arteries of her child audience and bring them either to early diabetes or death all for the love of butter, cheese, and processed fats. Gross me out.

Rachel Ray represents all that's wrong with Food Network. Harper's Magazine published an article about Food Network basically being Food Porn with Rachel and Giada de Laurentis being the prime conspirators. The idea might sound weird, but the article makes perfect sense. Ray's show isn't about cooking, or delicate taste -- it's no better than Food Network's exultations of the food manufacturing industry (candies and other processed foods) which is basically gastronomical porn, meant to satisfy you in a vulgar, simplistic, viceral manner. In that way she reflect American culture typically, and frighteningly. Put that mirror away -- I don't want to admit it.

Marnie said...

Too true! And what's worse, is that she's always trying to say how healthy it all is. No Rachael... throwing some lettuce on top of a greasy, fatty patty of God-only-knows-what-kid-of-meat does not automatically make it healthy!