Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Only in Ireland!

A nursing home in Ireland has come up with a great new way to keep their residents as happy as pigs in slop -- by providing its own pub. The folks in charge at St Mary's Hospital in County Monaghan think that the pub will encourage the oldies to be social which, in turn, may even help them live longer.

The pub opens at 11am (because there's nothing like booze with brunch for a 90-year-old) and closes at 9pm (which I would imagine is well past their bedtimes anyway). Not surprisingly, its existence has apparently led to an increase in visitors as well. I can see that scenario now:

"Honey, we're going to go see my mother."

"Noooooooo... please, anything but that. It's my day off!"

"There'll be booze there"

"I'll get my coat."

(Imagine it with the appropriate Irish accents, of course).

Assistant director of nursing at the home, Rose Mooney, told Reuters that having the pub "...means the patients aren't bored to death." Ha. Maybe not, but someone ought to watch out for excess falls. Those hips are fragile, you know.

The other thing I worry about is the morning after. I imagine it going a little something like this:

The only other thing I can add is that when I get to be 85 and can barely wipe my own hoo-hoo any longer, can someone please sign me up for this place? Thanks in advance.

And While We're on the Topic of Drunkeness and the Elderly...

This is hysterical.

Drunken Elks Attack Old People's Home

Note my favourite paragraph:
'"It's not unusual for elks to get drunk," forester Fredrik Jönsson told the newspaper. "They don't recognise the difference between fermented and not fermented and stuff themselves down to the last apple." Mr Jönsson did not know how many apples the elks had eaten.'

Well... either that or the part about the elk that stole the bike. The whole article is just full of good stuff. Please read it!

1 comment:

Juan Carlos said...

I think its about time they had drinks at homes and hospitals. Think about it what a great place to meet chicks who you dont have to commit to,...you know cuz theyre dying and whatnot.