Sunday, March 05, 2006

Socialite Wars: Attack of the Clones

When someone says the words "heiress" or "socialite" there are two people that most likely spring to mind:


The Hiltons.
Everyone knows them and what they look like. Tall, thin, blonde, tanned girls who are always decked out in the finest designer clothes. Anyone could pick them out of a crowd. That is, unless that crowd was full of other heiresses and socialites. Why?

THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME.

Many of you probably can't name a lot of other heiresses off the top of your head, mostly because the Hiltons have pretty much taken over the world, and the others don't have a chance to make a name for themselves outside of Society pages. But I'm telling you, they all look like clones of eachother. It's like that movie "Village of the Damned" only this time, Dior and Cavalli are involved.

Have a look for yourself...


Victoria and Vanessa Traina, daughters of novelist Danielle Steele.
These two have the heiress look down pat, right down to the little dog. In fact, they almost look like 2 girls who have dressed as the Hiltons for Halloween.


Lydia and Amanda Hearst, daughters of Patty and heiresses to William Randolph Hearst's Publishing Empire
While Lydia has a slight 'Jodie Foster' thing going on, these two still fit the heiress bill quite nicely. Two more Hilton clones.


Ivanka Trump, daughter of Donald and Ivana
Tall? Check. Blonde? Check. Tan? Check.


Holly Branson, daughter of Richard, and heir to the $1.6 billion Virgin fortune.
This one is slightly different in that she's studying to be a pediatrician and make a name for herself outside of daddy's money. Even so, tall, blonde, tan... bit of an Anna Kournikova vibe.


Tinsley Mortimer, wife of oil heir, Topper Mortimer
More a socialite than an heiress really, but no doubt her children (who will be the heirs) will be as tall, blonde, thin, and tanned as she is. Definitely worthy of a "Is that Paris Hilton?" double-take.


Casey Johnson, heiress to Johnson & Johnson pharmeceuticals.
Slightly less tanned and tall than the others, but still thin, blonde, and dressed in the most expensive clothes money can buy. They didn't exactly break the mould with this one.


Camila Al Fayed, daughter of Mohamed, owner of London's famed Harrod's department store.
Not blonde, but that's all she's lacking in the heiress look. Slap a blonde wig on her and she'd be interchangeable with any of the others. Also, I expect this one to be hitting the American tabloid scene in the near future. You heard it here first.


Alexandra and Theodora Richards, daughters of Rolling Stone Keith.
I don't think I even have to say anything. The pic speaks for itself. They even come in a pair like the Hiltons, Trainas, and Hearsts.

And finally...


Alexandra Von Furstenberg, daughter of "duty-free" tycoon Robert W. Miller and daughter-in-law of designer Diane.
The oldest of the bunch, but still rocking 'heiress-chic" from head to toe. All of the above girls can look at her and know they're looking into their future.

Creepy isn't it? It's like an epidemic or something. Oh well. At least we know that if Paris and Nicky happen to fall off the face of the Earth, there are plenty of others waiting to take their place!

God help us all.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Uhm, lumping Tinsley Mortimer in with the Hiltons is kind of a joke. Topper Mortimer is not an oil heir...that's his family name. Topper is an investment banker....an educated and successful one. Also, while the Hiltons do nothing but party and blow coke, Tinsley went to UNC (Varsity Tennis Captain) and Columbia graduate school. Not even the same league except they're both wealthy.

Breaking it down for you:

Topper/Tinsley Mortimer - well-to-do & well educated WASPS

Hiltons -
trashy sluts

Is that clear enough? This is coming from an Upper East Sider

Marnie said...

Well yeah... and they're both "socialites", and they look very much alike -- which was my whole point.

Is that clear enough?

Anonymous said...

looks like youre nothing but a hater. do you think with all that money these girls have theyre going to be fat slobs with cheap clothes and nasty hair? who cares what they look like. people are people. some are blond. some arent. some are tall. some not. get over it. you wouldnt be complaining if you lived a life a fraction of how amazing theirs must be

Marnie said...

Ahh, yet another "Anonymous" with so much to say.

1) Hater? Pot meet Kettle.

2) I'm hardly "complaining" about what they look like. Just commenting. "Blogging" if you will. On a blog. Imagine that.

3) "Some people are blonde. Some aren't." Well thanks for that Professor Anonymous!

And finally, if living an amazing life means I have to be in any equated with a Hilton, then I'm plenty fine with being dull. You know, like dull enough to comment on a 2 year old blog post like I... oh wait... that was you.

Anonymous said...

See where Tinsley and Paris will be next at CharityHappenings.org: The Official Master Calendar of charity events in NYC.

http://www.charityhappenings.org/

Anonymous said...

Casey Johnson is by far is the wealthiest of them all. She may not be as tall or tanned as the rest.
She attended Brown University, worked as a teacher after graduating, ran a NY mag, and is now a producer. She just finished a documentary on International adoption and the corruption that comes with adopting in third world countries (she adopted her daughter Ava from Kazahkstan)
She is smart, does not go to parties just to b photographed like Tinsley or the hiltons. She is a true heiress and much more!

Anonymous said...

Casey Johnson is engaged to Tila Tequila.....i'm going to go ahead and say she's not too smart. By the way, even Pauly Shore could get into Brown University if the university thought there was a chance he could donate 100 million to the university.

Anonymous said...

Casey Johnson? Tila Tequila? In love?

Dorsh passer said...

Dey will pass dee dorsh to the future generations.

Anonymous said...

Count Casey out! Too bad too, she seemed rich but personable, you know, not snooty.

Thomas Goodwin, G.G. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ChiTown Momma said...

Actually, Casey has just died. Along the lines of Britney Murphy, IE, "natural causes"

Anonymous said...

Speaking as an heir, it's all well and good to the media and the (plastic) world at large to be thin, young, and have a beautiful face/body. We live in a society that unfortunately values that over all else. Look around you.
Thing is, if you're born into it, it doesn't necessarily mean that it was born into you. It doesn't define you, but sadly, others who don't know a thing about you, insist that it's your whole identity and lump you in as "spoiled." You could be a philanthropist at heart, building your own empire, or trying not to "clone" yourself by adopting. You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't. All that matters is that you be your own person, try to make your own mark, give back, and try your hardest to be beautiful on the inside, where it counts. Everyone should do that, obviously. I don't know these women personally. I do know that many give to charity, that's something. We're not all plastic, vain tramps.

Anonymous said...

I have a friend who is an heir to a huge fortune and many people in the south know who she is. She has never had to work, has lived in NY and LA and all over the world, has two homes, drives Range Rover... and the list goes on. She is 40 years old, while many of the others are much younger. Interestingly, she used ot be alot like the famous heiresses- she partied and travled GALORE. But now, she is a complete hermit and totally strange. She is very shrewd with her money and doesn't trust anyone-not even her long time friends. She has become so weird to us and hates it when people look at her. What happened? Hell, we have no clue. I don't know why but it seems that trust funds ruin people sooner or later, in one way or another. Sad.

Deb said...

C'mon, play nice! RIP Casey J, nobody deserves to die. Interesting blog post.