Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Disneyworld Apparently Isn't for Everyone

Take my 21-month old niece, for example.

"Most magical place on Earth, my ass."

Thursday, November 23, 2006

The Proof is in the (Lack of) Pudding

I know it's hard to believe, but there's been some speculation recently that Britney Spears' new post-baby body didn't strictly come from hard work at the gym and a decent diet (the hell, you say!).

I think seeing Britney as we have for the past 2 years or so is proof enough of this fact. The idea being that if she could lose weight and look great with less than 2 months worth of effort, why did she not do it before? Granted, she was pregnant for a good portion of those two years, but let's be real. She was looking a little raggedy long before the gestation of Seanny P.

Anyway, if that logical deduction doesn't convince you, this picture probably should:

Look at that stomach. Don't tell me she didn't have that shit pulled up, trimmed down, and sewn back together! And I'm not just talking about the flatness of it. I don't know about you, but my belly button resides a little further down than 2 inches below my bustline. I hope to God that yours does too -- or else I'm the freak.

There's no shame in it. If I had her scratch, I'd be getting pulled taut in any place that sees the sun, but like... don't deny it, Britney. That stomach ain't natural in any universe, let alone a post-baby one.

Oh, and that outfit and shoes ain't nice in any universe either.

Just sayin'.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

How Do I Keep Missing These Things??

I often write on this blog about what a huge Rod Stewart fan I was throughout my pre-teen and teenage years. However, I don't think I can really emphasize it enough for you readers to understand how it went down on a daily basis. Anyone that doesn't know me outside of my inane ramblings here at Marnie's World probably couldn't imagine in their wildest dreams just what a Rod-tard I was.

Sure, I talked about the jacket...

And there was this post...

It's a Rod, Rod, Rod, Rod World

And these...

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child
Rod Stockpiles the Goodies

Baby Stewart Finally Has a Name
61 Candles
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Idol
American Hot Rod

Even Vegetarians Can Eat Crow

But I still don't think my past adoration for Rod really has come through.

Okay, maybe it's come through loud and clear. Haha. Whatevs. I loved him. And by using the past tense, that's not to say I don't still love him, mind you. I just don't dance around my room lip synching his songs into a deodant bottle, stopping only to change the cassette and occasionally kiss his posters anymore.


Anyway, while in the past I might have argued that I was the world's biggest Rod Stewart fan, every now and then something will pop up to force me to admit that perhaps I wasn't.

First there was the time that I realized there was a 30+ year old picture out there of him that I'd actually never seen.

In case you can't be bothered to click the link and relive that particular post, it was this one:

Whoa, Nelly.

Then, even more importantly, there was the time I found out that Rod had a 40-something illegitimate daughter running around out there.

If you were too lazy for that link, here she is:

Like seriously, how did I miss this one? Biggest fan out there? Perhaps not.

And now a third instance has cropped up, this time in the form of another picture that I'd never seen before. And like that first picture, I sure as hell wish I hadn't.

What. the. F**k.

No seriously. There is NOTHING good about that photo. Not even Britt Ekland's mid-seventies hotness can save it, because the eye is inadvertantly drawn away from her, and straight to Rod's tangerine/lime striped tankini. Even the horniest, perviest of men aren't looking at Britt, because they can't even help it. And remember how pervy the people who visit my site are?

Present company excluded, of course.

From the tankini to the creepy smirk on Rod's face to the happy trail that leads to the ever-so-subtle smattering of pubes, that photo is quite possibly the scariest thing I've ever seen. Many thanks to Mollygood for linking it (via Popwatch) and not only making my eyes bleed, but destroying the many happy memories I have of my first true love.

Rod? Please put it away.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Marnie in Duranland

Okay, that was kind of supposed to be a play on "Alice in Wonderland" but it doesn't quite work. Huh.

I should start this by pointing out a few things. First of all, some of what I say in this post isn't going to make sense because I wrote it on Friday, but didn't post it because by the time I got done, I was too lazy to proofread and I don't like posting nonsensical crap.

Stop laughing.

Second, I should warn you that this post is very long and caters to a pretty niche audience. In other words, if you weren't with me in AC last weekend, or you're not a Duran Duran fan in general, you should probably just skip the deets, skim the pics, and call it a day. If you don't fall into those categories but you want to read it anyway, be my guest, but don't say I didn't warn you. Cool? Cool. Away we go...

So I think it's about time I update you on my latest batch of Duran-related adventures. Of course, if I tried hard enough, I could probably think of a better way to spend my Friday evening --like perhaps enjoying some more Duran-related adventures, a la last Friday, but they're in Miami and I'm still stuck here in "the NJ" so blogging it is. Am I making any sense? No? Good.

Atlantic City -- my boys were in town so you know I was there. They're doing this random little mini-tour at the mo' which isn't really promoting anything, but I'm not complaining. The more Duran, the better, I always say.

It's become a tradition now that when the band comes to Atlantic City, Nicole is my partner in crime (and trust me -- the sweaty mess I become whilst dancing and singing along to Rio is, in fact, a crime). So after a few useless hours at work, I headed down and met up with her and her lovely husband Paul, and Paul's super nice parents (thanks for the room!!). We had a few pre-gaming drinks in the Diamond Club at Bally's before Nicole and I split up with them to go make ourselves beautiful (and drink some more in the room).

While we were getting our pretty on, our hilarious pal Cindy called to say she was over at the Showboat with her husband. She wanted us to hurry our asses up so we could go "tard-watching" (don't ask!!). So hurry we did, and before you could say "Wild Boys" we were there.

We hung out downstairs for a while and ran into a few people I know (Hi Tina! Hi Pam!) including my boo Davey, the band's right-hand man. Love him. I hadn't seen him in forever since he wasn't in England so we did a quick catch-up and made our plans to meet after the show.

Eww. That probably makes me sound like a groupie, doesn't it? So not.

Me and Davey. Last year's pic but I like it.

So at showtime, we bid adieu to Cindy and her husband, who at that point certainly seemed like he'd had enough and wanted to get the F**K out of there. Nicole and I found our place in the balcony and settled in.

The show was hot, as usual. Not the best Duran show I've been too (there's stiff competition for that honour) but so worth seeing. They were Andy-less, as they are going to be from now on due to an "unworkable gulf" but to be honest, I'm not too bothered by it. Definitely no disrespect to Andy Taylor, but having become a die-hard during the Medazzaland era (*gasp* Yes, I know), he wasn't really an inherent part of my Duran experience. He was cool the few times I met him, and I love, love, love his daughter Izzy, but I'm not going to lose my mind over it. Plus, let's be honest -- if you played me a live track, replacing Andy with the new guy, Dom , there's no way I would know the difference. Plus, Dom is seeming to fit in really nicely, both musically and aesthetically. So peace out, Andy. It was nice while it lasted.

Okay, I just lost every one of you that isn't a Duranie. Moving on...

So yeah, the show was good. Very no frills. No grand entrance. No flames during Wild Boys. No manga-style video during Careless Memories. No Careless Memories, for that matter. Simon didn't even pull anyone out of the crowd to introduce him. It was all about the music -- which is not a bad thing.

BUT -- we all know, at this point, I live for the afterparty, so let's get to that, shall we?

After the show we went and said hello to Paul Taylor at the merch booth, who is always pleasant and lovely. Then we headed to the Foundation Room, where my boy Paul Adams, the band's manager,(how many Pauls are in the post anyway?), whom I hadn't seen AGES waved us in ahead of the line. Love Paul.

Once inside, we got some more to drink (because 7 hours of drinking apparently isn't enough) and waited what seemed like a week for the band to eat dinner. No, like really. It was FOREVER. While we were waiting, I ran into my sister's friend Melissa and met a friend of Paul's, Jenn (with two enns!) who you'll hear more about later.

Finally the band gradually began finishing their souffles and whatever else, and began to make their way into the super-duper secret VIP party room *insert tongue in cheek*. That is, except John, who just made his way out with Gela, much to Nicole's chagrin. If she had known he wasn't going to be there, she no-doubt would have blown that popsicle stand long before, but I like to think that seeing him walk out was enough to make the wait a little bit worth it? ;-)

Anyway, just before the rest of the band came out, Davey came and plucked us from the crowd, guided us under the velvet ropes and into the 15x15 room of our dreams. Seriously -- that room is SO small. Once I got in the room, I was half-way to Roger and Paul when I realized Nicole wasn't behind me. So Paul went out and fetched her from the clutches of the ridiculous security guard who'd blocked her way. Apparently, as soon as the crowd saw that we were getting in, there was a mad rush to the ropes and Nicole got lost in the bedlam. Then the security guard somehow acted like he hadn't seen her standing there with me for the last billion hours. Whatevs.

Almost as soon as we were in there, my beloved Simon showed up. About .02 seconds later, he was flanked by several blondes. No surprise there. I wanted to make sure I got a new picture with Simon (so I can stop obsessively using last year's) before we were both too drunk to stand, so I went to get my camera.

Does anyone remember when, right before my England trip this year, I took some pictures of Simon's new haircut (my dog, not LeBon's -- how confusing is this post??) and ended up forgetting to put the memory card back in the camera? Yeah... well... did it again. No memory card. I'm such a genius.

So as I'm fretting about being a complete fucktard, this really nice girl (whom I later found out was named Genine) asked if I would take her picture with Simon. Of course I would! And would she take my picture and send it to me since I'm an idiot that can't manage to concentrate long enough to put a memory card into a camera? Sure! Love Genine.

So I went up to Simon and he gave me a really warm hug and kiss, which was nice. Shit like that never really loses its novelty, you know? So we started talking about having watched the football game in his hotel room in Manchester (yes, it was me that brought it up) and I jokingly said "Football hasn't been quite the same since!" And he says "Awww... no, I know!" I so loved that he played along with my ridiculousness.

So then he just starts staring my boobs... like really obviously, with this grin on his face, for what seemed like forever. I giggled at first, and looked away, but then he just smiled bigger. I didn't know what to say, so I just threw my arms up and laughed. So he says "Marnie -- I'm really loving your choice of outfit." (For the record, I wasn't dress liked a slutbag or anything -- just a halter top, not even an open-backed one for that matter, jeans, and boots).

So I looked down at myself and said "Thanks... are you mocking me?" And he's like "No! It's looks really really good!" Turns out, satin shirts in a cold room aren't very forgiving and I was doing a bit of peanut smuggling. So sue me.

I know I'm so leaving stuff out but it was a week ago, and even then, I had about 12 drinks in me. Simon, you can add anything I'm forgetting in the comments section. Haha.

Anyway, so I suggest we get in a picture, which the lovely Genine agreed to take, and he pulls me over to him, smashing my hair against his Members Only jacket. Then he pulls this blonde in on the other side and says "You get in it too!", to which I drunkenly said "Yeah! You get in it too!" (Hot mess, me). This was the result:

See? No hizzo clothes here! But as Colleen so kindly pointed out, I have "drunk hair on the left". Yes. Yes, I do. Like I said, it was smashed against his duds.

Then my beloved Nick Rhodes entered for about 30 seconds. I didn't care though, because it was long enough to snap a pic (do you believe I still didn't have one after all this time?) and talk about the whole "Marnie/Hitchcock film" connection, which I feel has become "our thing" since the first time we met. This time he grabbed both my hands and said "It is a brilliant, brilliant film." Haha.

The sad thing about this picture is that he's 18 years older than I am, yet somehow, I'm the one with crows feet. Lord help me.

I can't even remember what happened next. My mind jumps to me back in the booth with Nicole and Jenn (two enns!) with Simon right next to us on a little cushion, once again being flanked by blondes. One was laying across his lap, while another in short black shorts was wiggling her naughty bits in front of him, while he smiled on.

Across the room, Roger was already starting to get his groove on. Quite the dancer, that Roger. Girls were slowly but surely starting to surround him too, although the room was still relatively empty at this point.

It was then that Nicole took a look around the room and said my fave line of the night:

"You know what? My feet hurt and I can't watch this trainwreck."
HAHAHA! She asked if I would be mad if she left (of course not!) and I asked if she would be mad if I stayed (of course not!). If John was there, it would have been a different story. However, I love me some Simon, and well... I love the scene in general so my ass was staying.

I'm so glad I did too because I had like the best time ever! I think it might have even been better than the Earl's Court second night afterparty which was like the afterparty to end all afterparties. REALLY fun.

Jenn and I totally bonded, whilst standing on the sidelines, watching Simon dance, adding commentary. Jenn was all "Ooh, there's some salsa now!" Ha. He kept winking at me, and ran into us a few times, which was hilarious, but not at all surprising, considering the room was now FULL of people -- mostly girls that Simon had gone out and brought back in himself from the main bar area, creating what I can only imagine was a huge fire hazard. :-)

I was also so glad to get to spend some proper time with Paul whom, like I said, I hadn't seen in ages. I also got to meet his girlfriend (Philly represent! Woo!) who is really nice and very cool.

At some point I wisened up and switched to water (for which I thanked myself profusely the next day) and threw my ass down in a booth to watch the goings-on off my feet. Thank the sweet Lord for gel inserts is all I have to say.

While in the booth, I really got to talking to Genine and we found out we had LOADS of stuff in common -- she's a Rod Stewart fan, a Tottenham supporter, and English! (I mean, not that I'm English but I might as well be). Plus super nice. As you can see above, she actually mailed me hard copies of the pics she took, as per her word. How many people do you know that would do that for a complete stranger? Not many. Thanks, Genine!!

My kindred spirit!

So ANYWAY, now I'm being even more long-winded than usual, so how about I wrap this up? Some time just before 4am, I thought to myself "Hmm... maybe I should go to bed?" I had gotten up at 5 for work in the morning, so lord knows how I was even still functioning. I guess that's what copious amounts of alcohol and exposure to rock stars will do to you.

Of course, I shouldn't complain. The band had to perfom again the next day in Niagara Falls and they were partying well into the wee hours of the morning, much longer than me. So quit being a baby, Marnie.

By some miracle, I was up by 7:30 and telling Nicole about the rest of the night's adventures. I back to Showboat in the afternoon and had lunch with Paul and his missus. Again, great to catch up. He was meeting everyone in the lobby at 2pm so they could fly via private jet to Niagara Falls. Must be nice!

Anyway, I said my goodbyes at 2 and headed back home, where I passed out and pretty much stayed out until the following day. I think I'm finally now starting to feel slightly normal again.

Thank you Nicole, both Pauls, Davey, Genine, Jenn, Simon, Nick, and everyone else for one fun-ass night. Can't wait to do it again!

Meanwhile, no one probably even made it all the way through this post, but at least I have it to read back to myself when I'm old and gray and Duran Duran are long gone. :-)

Reason #6,429 to Love Graham Norton

I was watching "I Love 1978" on VH1 last night, where my favourite person in the world, Graham Norton, was a commentator.

During the segment on Dr. Who, Graham had this to say in reference to Dr. Who's Magical Phone Booth (or whatever the hell it was)...

"It's kind of something small that everyone can get into. Sort of like the Paris Hilton of travel."
Brilliant. Do you see why we get on so well?

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I'm just sitting here trying to guess how long it will be before Kathy Hilton's outfit gets officially fugged.

I give it 24 hours -- tops.

I Don't Think You're Ready For Keane's Jelly

Oh, for the love of God!

Please, if you know what's good for you, get thee to Keane's MySpace page to listen to the funniest, most brilliant thing ever!

Yes, that's right -- a mash up of Christina's Dirrty and Destiny's Child's Bootylicious, appropriately titled Dirrtylicious... sung. by. KEANE.

Now that I've heard my main man Tom Chaplin sing the lyrics "tight hip huggers, low for sure" (seemingly with a straight face) I can most certainly die a happy woman. And Tim and/or Richard in the background with the "Woo!" and the "Uh-oh" only makes it 1000 times better.

I'm dying over here.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Spooktacular II


I was going to call this post "Hallowonderful" or "Hallowacky" or something equally retarded, but I opted to instead be boring and bite off of last year's post title. Best to keep things uniform, I always say.

Anyway, this Halloween was actually not too dissimilar from last year, in that I once again headed to New York for some drunken, costumed festivities. And while I wasn't quite as enamoured of my own costume this year as I was last year, a jolly good time was still had by all!

I dressed as a cavewoman this year, inspired by some cheap (faux) fur yeti boots that I saw on Ebay. I was going to dress as Orphan Annie, but the store-bought costumes were very matronly looking, and I couldn't be bothered to make one myself. So cavewoman it was. I wasn't totally useless on the creative front this year though. Michelle had the brilliant idea of being an 80's prom queen and, in her own words, "Had no idea where to begin" as far as the props, so I stepped up and made her a hot sash and completely cheesy corsage.

Brings me back to my high school days.

Almost as awkward as a real prom picture.

Jordan, whom you may remember as last year's Dorothy, decided at the last minute to dress up as well (and I'm talking LAST minute. Like, we were already dressed and about to leave and she ran upstairs and threw something together) which was so worth it because her costume was great. She was her "nana, circa 1971" complete with nana's actual multi-hued catsuit.

That's a one-piece, wide-legged pantsuit, folks. SO fab.

Michelle's main squeeze, Matt, busted out the old stand-by Jailbird costume, which lead to the sordid (yet amusing) backstory of him soliciting the teen prom queen, thus landing him some time in the slammer. How sweet.

All we're missing is the backdrop with the silk roses and styrofoam pillar.

After we took these shots, Michelle, Matt, and I split from Jordan for a bit to head to a party at the apartment of Matt's friends, who, ironically, happened to be dressed as a Homecoming King and Queen. Michelle jumped on the chance to get an even more authentic-looking cheesy pic:

And yes, 2 party poopers in the back were NOT in costume. Boo!! (no pun intended)

A few drinks later, we gathered ourselves up and headed out to meet up with Katie, who dressed as an adorable "St. Pauli Girl." Unfortch, the bar/restaurant/whatevs had a ridiculous line outside (not to mentch, a $20 cover) so we opted out and headed to a place called the Rogue, to reuinted with Jordan, as well as Heather and Joe (last year's surgeon and 80's girl) for more alcohol-related fun.

"Nana, circa 1971"

No costumes for Heather and Joe either, but they had an excuse so I won't call them party poopers!

Now, I have to say, you know it's going to be a good night when you show up and your 2 Irish bartenders are dressed as Paris and Nicky Hilton.

And are enjoying it WAAAAAAAAY too much.

Paris wishes she looked this good.

I predict this will be what Nicky really looks like by 30.

The 5 o'clock shadow is what really adds to the authenticity.

Like I said -- enjoying this WAY too much.

That's not to say I wasn't enjoying it, mind you!

It's not a good picture if you don't have to climb on the bar for it.

Now that's just money.

Because you have to see it from every angle, right?

We can't forget to give Nicky some lovin'.

Back on Earth...

Totally cute group shot. My bone SO did not want to stay in place!

Speaking of costumes not wanting to stay in place, the sash I laboured so hard over didn't quite stay together as well as I'd hoped. Michelle almost became the "PR M QUEEN", but due to our ingenuity (and a pen we borrowed from the taxi driver), she managed to escape that fate.


It wasn't long before St. Pauli Girl showed up to liven things up even more!

How much do I love Rick James in the background of this picture? He's totally posing.

PROM QUEEN and St. Pauli Katie.

Of course, it's not long before we turn it into something dirty.

This should go in their wedding album.

By the end of the night, not only is my hair bone askew, but my "multiple tooth choker" (that's totally what it said on the package) is stabbing me in the jugular.

We had SUCH a good time at this place. Really cool, laid-back atmosphere and nice crowd. Hardly anyone even laughed when Michelle wound up arse-over-tit on the floor after her stool slid out from behind her. As Joe so kindly put it "Just call her Mary Katherine Gallagher!"

Luckily St. Pauli Katie was there to kiss her wounds.

And thus concluded an awesome night.
Jordan and Michelle

Paris Table Dancing

Beautiful Paris

Superstar for sure

Heather and Jordan

Jordan and Michelle

Heather et moi

Michelle, Heather, and me

Michelle and Matt

Michelle and Katie



But the Halloween fun totally did not end there!!!

On Sunday, we all headed down to Tompkins Square Park for the 16th Annual Halloween Dog Parade, which had been rained out the day before. But seriously -- dogs in costumes. You know I was in heaven!

Please behold the genius!

This is one I took of a maltese (?) with a headless horseman on his back. Look closely and you'll be able to make it out. The pic totally doesn't do it justice because when the dog moved, the horseman's arm went up and down, waving the sword. SO cute. And yes, he's got the head in his mouth. And yes, that's Oscar the Grouch next to him. And yes, it's awesome.

Here's a better angle from JohnnyKiwi's Flickr page...

He must have gotten sick of holding the head!

I didn't take any more pictures for myself, but lucky Flickr has tons. Do yourself a favour. Go there and type "Halloween Dog". I promise you won't be disappointed. In the meantime, here are some of my faves from some really nice peeps that I said I could use them. Many thanks!

More from JohnnyKiwi...

A Poop Factory, folks. A Poop Factory.

Mario, Luigi, Princess, and what would be a mushroom, if the dog didn't keep knocking the hat off. Not sure if that's Koopa next to them, but that would be awesome.

Here he is with the hat!

Canines of the Carribean. Somebody took a lot of time to do this!

One of my absolute faves of the day. Just look at that face! Oh, and FYI, he totes had some more fluff attached to his tail with packaging tape!

A Fire Hydrant. There was a dachshund running around with this same costume, only his headpiece kept ending up hanging under his chin.

This little guy pretty much singlehandedly got me over my hatred of spiders.

Totally knew someone had to come as an iPod!

The ass-end of a MetroCard Turnstile, and a couple of Sumo Wrestling Pugs. Will you please look at the wigs, for the love of God?

And again. The WIGS, people.

Boston Terriers are so punk.

Here he is again. Just 'cause I love him.


I don't even know if this guy was there, but how can I not include him?
Photo by Gwen.

Some great ones from the lovely JouJouBee...

This Indian Chief rocked.

Check out the tongue action on the skunk!

Milk does a doggy good!

Scary, scary ghost!


You knew it was going to be a big year for pirates!

It's not easy taking pics of dogs because they're always moving, but JouJouBee... really did well!!

Superterrific also got some great ones...

You are SO saying "Awwwww" right now. Don't lie.

3-Headed Boston Terriers are better than one.

Cutest Miss Piggy EVER.

There were tons of lobsters, but I think this one pretty much takes the cake.

This Chow looks better than I did as Wonder Woman a few years ago.

Nicole Richie?

Okay -- I fell in LOVE with this one. He was definitely one of my favourites in the history of dogs in costumes!

I was totally loving Mosurades pics, and he was very nice about letting me post them! Check them out below, and please be sure to check out his website here for even more to make you smile!

May the force be with you.

Willie Nelson!!!!

And they say unicorns are a myth.

I don't doubt that this adorable baby pooped his diaper!

This little guy ran around for about 30 minutes with a stick in his mouth, while about 10 other little dogs chased him!

This little piggy... is so cute.

It's MR.T!!!!! (It even said "I pity the fool!" on his back!)

Dunna-nunna-Nunna-nunna BAT DOG!!!!

I love this dog for tolerating this!

It's the wigs again!!!!!!!!!!!

There was even a Chinese Food Trio!!!!

(takeout menu pic by mysuspira)

And in keeping with the Chinese theme...

Loves it.

Unfortunately, some of my very favourites aren't featured here. The dachshund with dollars shoved in his thong. The chihuahua dressed as a bag of E Coli Spinach. The Flavor Flav dog. The list goes on and on!

Oh yeah, and sadly, this cutie wasn't at the parade...

But I sure wish she was.

It was such a good time and I can't wait to take Simon next year!

All in all, Halloween '06 was really, really great! See you next year. :-)