I often write on this blog about what a huge Rod Stewart fan I was throughout my pre-teen and teenage years. However, I don't think I can really emphasize it enough for you readers to understand how it went down on a daily basis. Anyone that doesn't know me outside of my inane ramblings here at Marnie's World probably couldn't imagine in their wildest dreams just what a Rod-tard I was.
Sure, I talked about the jacket...
And there was this post...
It's a Rod, Rod, Rod, Rod World
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child
Rod Stockpiles the Goodies
Baby Stewart Finally Has a Name
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Idol
American Hot Rod
Even Vegetarians Can Eat Crow
But I still don't think my past adoration for Rod really has come through.
Okay, maybe it's come through loud and clear. Haha. Whatevs. I loved him. And by using the past tense, that's not to say I don't still love him, mind you. I just don't dance around my room lip synching his songs into a deodant bottle, stopping only to change the cassette and occasionally kiss his posters anymore.
Anyway, while in the past I might have argued that I was the world's biggest Rod Stewart fan, every now and then something will pop up to force me to admit that perhaps I wasn't.
First there was the time that I realized there was a 30+ year old picture out there of him that I'd actually never seen.
In case you can't be bothered to click the link and relive that particular post, it was this one:
Then, even more importantly, there was the time I found out that Rod had a 40-something illegitimate daughter running around out there.
If you were too lazy for that link, here she is:
Like seriously, how did I miss this one? Biggest fan out there? Perhaps not.
And now a third instance has cropped up, this time in the form of another picture that I'd never seen before. And like that first picture, I sure as hell wish I hadn't.
What. the. F**k.
No seriously. There is NOTHING good about that photo. Not even Britt Ekland's mid-seventies hotness can save it, because the eye is inadvertantly drawn away from her, and straight to Rod's tangerine/lime striped tankini. Even the horniest, perviest of men aren't looking at Britt, because they can't even help it. And remember how pervy the people who visit my site are?
Present company excluded, of course.
From the tankini to the creepy smirk on Rod's face to the happy trail that leads to the ever-so-subtle smattering of pubes, that photo is quite possibly the scariest thing I've ever seen. Many thanks to Mollygood for linking it (via Popwatch) and not only making my eyes bleed, but destroying the many happy memories I have of my first true love.
Rod? Please put it away.