Thursday, May 25, 2006

Idle Recap

So... American Idol finale. In a nutshell? Very, very good. I'm sure many will disagree (I'm looking at you, Jeff from work!) but I thoroughly enjoyed watching it. Hopefully you're going to thoroughly enjoy me talking about it. Some two-hundred million people around the world were watching, (and you were probably one of them), so I won't bore you with every detail. However, there are certain highlights (and lowlights) that I feel I need to comment on, in no particular order.

Jumping right in...

Meatloaf.

What the hell was going on with him? When he came out to sing "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" (Celine Dion??? WHY, God?? WHY?), the first thought to go through my mind was "Huh?". I know they wanted to keep the guest stars a secret, but he's one of the last people I'd have thought. After the initial weirdness of that subsided, I spent the entire rest of the performance in awe of how much Katherine was outshining him. First he was doing the weird shake, but then his voice just sounded awful. He's lucky Simon didn't have to judge him after. I heard someone say today that Meatloaf has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, which would explain the shaking, but upon further investigation, I have yet to find any details about this, or even a mention of it for that matter. I think it was just some sort of "artsy" move that wasn't executed well. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry Meatloaf!!

Funnily enough, I read a quote from Katherine today regarding the performance that said, ""They just came to me. It wasn't like it was my choice. They just said, Okay, you'll be singing with so-and-so...I didn't even know who he was. But now I do. He was like really big in the '70s, right?"

Hahaha.

But yeah, not one of the shows highs, that's for sure.

By the way, did you know that Meatloaf is a vegetarian? How ironic. :-)

Carrie Underwood, while looking adorable, was a bit of a snoozefest. I didn't like the song at all, but she sang it well. I'm glad she's had such success. And she's a vegetarian too. :-)



I laughed my ass off when "Crazy Dave" went flying off the stage, but after a few seconds, I was glad to see the back of him! I can't imagine what knowing him in real life is like.





The group performances were pretty good. I thought they focused a little too much on Chris and Paris, though, and not enough on Elliot. He was on the show for longer and he should have gotten more solo time. Kevin Covais has seemed to get slightly better at singing (and he's still cute as a button), and Mandisa even looked like she lost a little weight. I had forgotten all about Bucky until I saw him, but I really thought he sounded great during his solo parts. I felt sorry for Melissa McGhee, because no one seemed to remember her at all. She did well, but she got very little cheering when it was her turn.



Speaking of Elliot not getting enough solo time, what was up with the Mary J. Blige performance? Elliot hardly got to say anything, while she basically came and screamed through the whole thing. The other idol/celeb match-ups were much more evenly split, and that was disappointing. Another low for me (how many does that make?). Elliot looked adorable though. Is it just me, or has he gotten cuter and cuter since the start of the season? Love him.



When they cut to Alabama via satellite, I was slightly disgusted to see the O'Donohue twins (didn't we get rid of them already?) but even that couldn't ruin the adorable little kids with their hair dyed gray in honour of Taylor!! SO cute!

And speaking of Taylor, WHAT was up with the Toni Braxton thing?? I'd rather watch Meatloaf 10 times over. She was AWFUL!!!! She seemed like she barely knew the words, and was just trying to disguise it by singing really low... and REALLY badly. Taylor outshined her infinitely. But what was up with that pairing to begin with?

The "Puck and Pickler" segments were just ridiculous, but they did confirm that Kelly is a really sweet, charming, funny person. Dumb as rocks, of course, but I think I'd like to spend the day with her. I loved when she pretended to eat the snail and said "Mmm! That was SO GOOD!". What I did not love was the new haircut. It added about 10 years to her, and accentuated chipmunk cheeks that I didn't know she had.



My absolute FAVOURITE part of the show (yes, even better than Taylor winning) was the Michael Sandecki/Clay Aiken duet. That was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time, and I laughed out loud through the entire thing. First of all, they showed Michael's original audition again which was a laugh-fest in itself. "I'm the next Cuh-lay Ayyy-KIN!" Classic.

But the performance, dubbed by my co-worker as "the most homosexual encounter I've ever seen" was just the best part of the night. When Clay walked out onto the stage behind Michael, the look on his face was priceless. Then Michael's reaction to Clay was so genuine! I loved it! The fact that he stayed out on the stage and sang with Clay as long as he could, until Ryan nicely coaxed him into the chair, had my sides splitting.

You know I couldn't go without showing this whole scene again, so here you are! (But hurry up before Idol rips it down from YouTube for copyright infringement!)



The only thing is, I'm not so sure about this new 'do Clay is sporting. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad he's found another way to utilise the almightly flatiron, but this look just strikes me as a little "much." Maybe if it wasn't as dark? As the aforementioned co-worker put it, "What's with the lid, Clay?" That said, his skin looked like porcelain, and he looked great in the suit. His voice was amazing as always. All in all a wonderful showing, so we'll let the hair thing rest for now.

Finishing up, the Prince thing was weird. Weirder than the Meatloaf thing, but not as weird as the Toni Braxton thing. He was good though. I'm not a huge Prince fan or anything, but I can appreciate that he's a legend. I guess I'm just surprised he'd associate with Idol?

And so then Taylor won, the Marnie curse was broken, David Hasselhoff cried, and the world rejoiced.

If you'd like a more thorough recap of the entire show, try here... or here... or here.



Thank you, and good night. xx

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

"WOO!!" *throws head back*

I'm happier than a pig in slop right now. Why? Because the Marnie Curse (as it relates to American Idol anyway) is finally over. Done! Gone! Bye bye, Marnie Curse!

If you're wondering what the Marnie Curse is, it's simple. When Marnie picks someone to win American Idol, even when its down to the final 2, the opposite person ALWAYS wins. Always, four years without fail.

Yes, that means in the summer of 2002, I sat in my sister's living room and rooted my little ass off for one Justin Guarini. Yes, I hang my head in shame over this fact now, and I completely concede that Kelly Clarkson totally epitomizes what an American Idol is. Talented, real, and a nice person to boot. I just happen to be an underdog person, and Kelly was the favourite to win from day one. What can I say? Idol got it right that year, and I got it horribly, horribly wrong.

But that's not the point. The point is, I wanted Justin, and Kelly won.



Season two. Oh, sweet Jesus don't get me STARTED on Season two. I'm a self-admitted Clay-tard. Him losing that year was right up there for me with the '00 Presidential Election, disappointment wise (Okay, I admit it -- it was worse!). Of course, it all worked out in the end. For every CD that Ruben sold, Clay sold about 3 billion, thus showing who the real winner was. (picture me smiling smugly right now). This is the year that officially started a precedent, marking the beginning of the Marnie Curse.



(For the record, gay webcam escapades or not, Clay is my all-time favourite Idol and I was delighted to see his hilariously enjoyable segment tonight -- but we'll get to that later!)

Moving on...

Season three was another travesty, ending with Fantasia Barrino kicking Diana DeGarmo's ass. While this is the season that really doesn't count (because quite frankly, where are either of them these days?), it still was just completely unjust that Fantasia won. If I'm being real, Diana didn't come close to measuring up to a majority of the other idols before and after her, but she was likeable, and that goes a long way for me. Oh, and I like my idols literate, if you don't mind. Big boo to Season 3.



Season 4, admittedly, wasn't such a blow. In fact, I can pretty much say I loved Carrie Underwood. Many of her performances even made it to my iPod, and she's a vegetarian, even though she lives on a cattle ranch, so yay her. So no, I wasn't disappointed with the result. However, if someone had forced me to choose, I'd have said Bo should win. Which, of course, promptly marked the demise of Bo. (Sorry, Bo!).



And then there was Season 5. And what a season it was! The most unpredictable of all seasons, and in some cases, the most unfair (okay, second most unfair. See "Season 2"). But the ends justified the means in this case because...

TAYLOR HICKS IS YOUR NEW AMERICAN IDOL!

"WOO!"

Do you make me proud? Yes, Taylor. Yes you do!

The curse is broken and MY PICK (since the tryouts, mind you) FINALLY won!! YAY Taylor!!!



On top of everything, the finale tonight was awesome. There were some weird stuff, but overall I enjoyed it very much, right down to the final seconds. I'm definitely going to ramble on about all that tomorrow.

Watch this space!

Congratulations, Taylor!

Monday, May 22, 2006

I've Come To Wish You an (Un)Happy Birthday...

Okay, so I'm not usually that good with remembering birthdays, but who could forget that Mr. Thang himself, Morrissey, turns 47 years young today!?

I hope your day is slightly less gloomy than usual, Moz. And don't eat too much cake!!


Moz celebrates his Unhappy Birthday.

Pics from morrissey-solo.com

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Keane is Going to Take Over the World

So we all know how I love me some Keane.

I mean LOVE me some Keane.

The thing is, here in America, in the last 2 years I'd heard them once --yes ONCE-- on the radio. It was Somewhere Only We Know and it was quite a long time ago, right after their album first dropped, some time in 2004. Basically, Keane gets no radio love in the states. That's okay, though. I'd resigned myself to the fact that the only place I was going to hear them was on my own iPod (where, consequently, they get more play than anyone) and that's just the way it was.

That is, until last week.

I was trying out this cool new supermarket near me that turned out to be a vegetarian dream. I was totally loving it anyway, but it only made things better when, on my way through the checkout line, they start blaring Somewhere Only We Know. Hot.

That same day, my mom went to a work meeting at Dave & Buster's. She said to me "Guess what? They played Keane at Dave and Buster's today!". Nice.

The following day I went into Baker's Shoes to buy a belt. I walked in and what's playing? Somewhere Only We Know.

I went to the movies to see Poseidon (which is otherwise not worth mentioning, by the way). During the preview to the new Sandra Bullock/Keanu Reeves pic The Lake House, there it is. Somwhere Only We Know. (Since then, I've seen the commercial no less than 10 times with the song playing in the background).

Today in Walgreen's while I was buying self-tanner and Mederma for my dog bite scar? Somewhere Only We Know.

Right now, I'm watching Cold Case. In the background to one of the scenes, once again... Somwhere Only We Know.

What the hell, people? I know it's common to hear a song over and over again, but like... 2 years after it was released? When it wasn't even a big hit in this country in the first place? Why now, all of the sudden, is it being played like it's brand new? Not that I'm complaining mind you. They definitely deserve their day in the sun here, but it's just odd.

I suppose this is their first step towards world domination. I just hope I get to meet them before they're untouchable.

Tom Chaplin, call me. ;-)



Click here to listen to a great version of Somewhere Only We Know. You won't regret it.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Down With Katherine McPhee

Sorry, Kath but Elliot was R-O-B-B-E-D. It is a sad, sad day.



Good luck, Elliot! I'll buy your CD!!!!

Oh yeah, and GOOOOOOOOOO TAYLOR!!!!! You've got it in the bag now, baby.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Chris Daughtry: Arrogant Son of a Bitch

Unless you've been living under a rock for 3 days, you've heard by now that popular "rocker" Chris Daughtry was surprisingly voted off of American Idol this week. Well... I say surprisingly, because that's the general concensus, but really I wasn't surprised at all. Sure, I thought it would probably be Katherine, but I didn't really bat an eye when they said it was Chris, as I wasn't overly impressed with him the night before.

Sure, anyone can say that after the fact, but it's true. Suspicious Minds and A Little Less Conversation are probably my two favourite Elvis songs (in that order). I was very apathetic about both of his performances, and I was particularly unimpressed with A Little Less Conversation. If you ask me, Jon Peter Lewis did a far superior version two seasons ago.

Truth be told, I was actually sort of happy that Chris was voted off, but only because it all but guaranteed a Taylor/Elliot finale. I've been a Taylor fan throughout, and Elliot's endeared himself to me so much in recent weeks that it will be the final performances that determine my decision, rather than a pre-chosen favourite. That said, that was really the only reason I was happy at the outcome on Wednesday's show, because I did think that Chris was very good.

I'm still happy he was voted off, only now it's for a completely different reason. Chris is a pompous ass, and I'm very happy to see the back of him. Far from wishing him well, I hope his fans realize what a jerk-off he is and never buy any record he may put out. Why do I say this?

Chris did an interview with Entertainment Weekly this week. I think the article speaks for itself. I can't imagine anyone reading that and coming away liking him, and that includes the die-hard fans. Here are some excerpts:

""Nobody expected it. I wasn't the pick to go home. I've been the pick to win."

"I thought [Ryan] was about to say, ''Chris, you can sit down.'' I was like, Man, I can't believe he just said that. It did not feel real at all."

"You know, I had a good night, I felt. I think people may have gotten a little comfortable. People thought, ''This guy is definitely going to win, I don't need to vote for him tonight. Maybe someone else is going to take care of that."

"I honestly feel in my heart Simon just didn't like the second song. I don't think it was me. It was the song."

"I think it has everything to do with people being like, ''Well, he's obviously safe."



"How do you go from that to being voted off? It's a big mystery. It doesn't make sense logically."

"There are a lot of disappointed people and fans. There was floods of mail to Fox last night and today and everyone is like, ''What happened?'' It could be the fact that I made the biggest shock in American Idol history that works to my benefit."

"I think [a rocker winning] could have happened this year. I really do. That's what the biggest shock is. Everyone is so floored because everyone expected me to win. People have to vote. You can't assume someone is safe just because of the comments."

"Right now I'm so shocked."

Like... is he kidding me? I'm shocked too -- shocked that someone could make themselves sound like such an idiot in such a short amount of time.

I've saved this last slice of humble pie for you, Chris. You're going to need it.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

But Reeeeeege!

I have one of "those faces".

You know, the kind where everyone thinks you look like someone else. During my awkward childhood years, I was always told I resembled Annie or Pippi Longstocking (Thanks, red hair. I appreciate it). Two years ago, when she was heavier and I had long hair still, I often got compared to Lindsay Lohan. I even twice got asked for autographs while walking down the street in Manhattan, from people who thought I was her. Last year, also in Manhattan, I was asked by a man if I was "the girl from 6 Feet Under". But then, you knew that.

Strangely enough, no one ever stops me to tell me I look like the redheaded half of the "Lesbians-as-a-gimmick" band, Tatu, when she's really the only one I DO look like.



Except, you know, I wear pants on stage.

Anyway, all of these comparisons obviously have much to do with the fact that I'm a redhead. So imagine my surprise when, about a year ago, out of nowhere, people started comparing me incessantly to none other than blonder than blonde, Kelly Ripa.

No seriously. I get it ALL the time. Lately, people at work have taken to calling me Kelly whenever they walk by me, and they constantly say things like "I saw that Commerce Bank commercial again last night and I swear, slap a blonde wig on you and it's her!"

Normally I can see what people are saying, at least a little bit.

Lindsay? Okay, maybe a little.



Lauren? Sure, I guess. Kinda.

Kelly Ripa?



Sorry. Call me blind, but I'm just not seeing it.

Anyway, there is a point to all this. Hearing this Kelly thing be rehashed again reminded me of one of my favourite web sites, The My Heritage Face Recognition site, which allows you to "find your inner celebrity." Totally fun and completely addictive.

So I headed on over and decided to try my luck once again. I really just wanted to see if this site said anything about Kelly Ripa, in which case I'd tell all my co-workers that they were right and I was wrong and yadda yadda yadda.

Well, they didn't say I look like Kelly Ripa, although what they did say disturbed me slightly more. I tried 3 pictures:



WTF?

Seriously... WTF????

HARVEY KEITEL?

Okay, okay!! I'll take Kelly Ripa!

I'll Just Take the Brittle Bones, Thanks.

Gatorade, the makers of my beloved Propel Fitness Water, have recently put out an inhanced version of the drink called "Propel Calcium". It was apparently first introduced last year at the American Dietetic Association Annual Conference in St. Louis, but has only hit the shelves within the last few weeks.

I was in my local Sam's Club store this past week, when I saw it for the first time, and decided to try it. They say it is the "first national enhanced water to be considered a good source of calcium". Enhanced with calcium? Sure. Unfortunately, it's also enhanced with disgustingness.

I LOVE me some Propel. I drink about 4 bottles a day, and if it was slightly cheaper, I'd drink about 10. But they've missed the mark on this whole calcium thing. Drinking this stuff immediately brings me back to the days of trying to take my cough medicine without having it touch any of my taste buds on the way down. Yukkity-yuk-yuk-yuk.

Giving credit where credit's due, I have to admit that the Mango isn't SO terrible and the Mandarin Orange, while living something to be desired, doesn't make me wince... too badly. However, the Mixed Berry is so bad, that I actually had to hold my breath while I finished it. Being the miser that I am, I refuse to waste 8 bottles of it (It was a 24-pack of all 3 flavours), so I'm just going to have to suck it up, but boy am I not looking forward to it!

If I'm lucky, it won't touch any of my tastebuds on the way down.

Seeing Double

When it comes to Nicole Richie, apparently ruffled panties and a mirror is always the best way to go...

Stuff Magazine, 2004


Vanity Fair, 2006