Sunday, July 22, 2007

Viva EspaƱa!

*Disclaimer*: The time stamp here is going to be messed up because I've had this post written for weeks, but I was too busy/lazy to upload the pics. The fact that I'm an ass has been duly noted.
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Would you look at that? I've been back less than a week and I'm updating the site! It's a miracle!

Is my suitcase unpacked? Nope. But a girl's got to prioritize.

Now, let's get right to it!

I'm going to skip over how the exchange rate is now $2.20 to the pound, for fear of bursting blood vessels in my brain. And anyway, as you'll read in a second, that horrible rate is going to be working in my favour in less than 6 months time, so all is right with the world!

So I flew into London on the morning of July 7th (Happy Birthday, Matt!) and it was pretty routine, in that I once again got hassled at immigration by some idiot who thinks I come to England too much -- so something must be shady, right?

After that it got weird. I was at the baggage carousel collecting my worldly possessions and GUESS WHO I SAW AT THE CAROUSEL NEXT TO MINE??

KEANE'S CREW!!

Ha! What the hell are the chances of that? They were coming in from Amsterdam and going to Live Earth that day. I talked to them for a bit and of course did the obligatory "Tell the boys I said hi!" because I'm a nerd. Seriously though. Weirdest thing ever. Sometimes when I'm not even trying to stalk, it just happens! I'm kind of glad the band wasn't with them or I'd have felt the need to explain myself. "No! It really is a coincidence! I had no idea you'd be here!" Haha.

Anyway, Sam and Richie fetched me and before heading home, we made a pit stop in Marlow so Sam could get a new belly button ring and my ridiculously vain self could get a spray tan done at my beloved Sunrise. (What? Have you SEEN how pale I am??). After that we went to the pub where I drank several glasses of champagne. Not off the plane 2 hours and already getting drunk. Yay England!

It was soo good to be back in England but truth be told, by stomach was in knots. For 6 months, I'd been holding in the very exciting and life-changing news that I'm FINALLY going to be moving to there! I don't talk about my past immigration perils on here very often, but anyone that knows me know that I've devoted many years and much manpower to moving to England and have had several proverbial doors slammed in my face. Long story short, there's been a few changes in the immigration system and I finally fit into one of the schemes. It will be all systems go soon, and in approximately 6 more months, I'll be a full-fledged, legal resident of the UK, enjoying the exchange rate (for once) and taking cheap holidays like everyone else! And oh, what a glorious time it will be!!

Anyway, for some reason I was really nervous to tell everyone, which I did that night, and now I can breathe easy, and talk about it freely. Like a lead weight off my shoulders, I tell you!!

To celebrate, I continued to drink my ass off at the pub with Glennie and Mondo, whilst everyone else went to a wedding. I got sufficiently drunk enough to fill Mondo and Glennie in on the benefits of Brazilian waxing, and also to the point where I don't even remember going inside the pub, which we obviously did, according to these pictures.





After I got dropped off (by who, I don't remember) I did managed to fall in Richie and Sam's house, cutting my wrist and cracking myself up in the process. The next thing I remember, it was morning, and time to go to Spain!!!

To save you all from the indignity of having to pretend to have read my ramblings once again, the rest of this post is mostly a pictorial. I'm barely going to break it down into days. Just look at the pictures and enjoy. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. So here's about 216,000 words.

The face of an angel.

(Of course I mean that guy in front).

This day was the longest day in the history of Earth, by the way.

This was our villa...

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Pre-gaming before heading to the Chinese restaurant...





Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI love the seriousness of Mondo in this one.

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Of course we end up at an Irish pub...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketMe and my roomie.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI'm starting already.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe drinks are slightly larger in Spain.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI'm getting sloppy now.

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The debauchery continues at home...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketGood God.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketLate night swimming.

And yet we somehow make it to morning...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketNote how I planted my pasty ass over in the shade, where I remained all week.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket'Riccardo' at your service. (That's not a flower by the way -- it's a toilet brush)

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"You were there!"

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket¿puedo tomar su orden?

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"We don't serve your kind here"

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe smoking section.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketRub-a-dub-dub

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThankfully these two don't ever plan on running for public office.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketEat your heart out, Spice Girls.

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Puerto Banus...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketBecause you need to see three versions of this.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketAnd two of this.

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Hijinks at "Jacks American Bar and Grill"...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketNever just one drink at a time.

Linekers -- There was a pole there...

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See?...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketTo think how I could have injured him.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketJo is obviously more impressed than Tom.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI think we may have missed our true calling.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketSure. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt!

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The Piano Bar...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThis is Francisco.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketSometimes I think I should be muzzled.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketTom looks about as impressed with his kebab as he was with my pole dancing.

And the sun rises again...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketCurious about what I was so engrossed with? It was this.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI'm not quite sure who this is, but they sure are talented.

The "Chair Incident"...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketHe couldn't have executed it better if he'd tried.

Marbella...

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Carrying on back at the villa...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI have no idea either.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketC U Next Tuesday!

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The next day held some true horrors...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe tan line to end all tan lines.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketDid I forget to mention this was NSFW? Whoops.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketLike I said -- all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketHe's not giving peace, folks.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe human wave machine.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketOur 12th roommate -- the nose peg.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket5pm Gin and Tonics!

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Preparing for our barbecue...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe foil-covered things are my vegetarian things. Geniuses, us.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketJamie Oliver and Ainsley Harriet Emeril better watch their backs.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketSloppy.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketDrinking? I have no idea what you're talking about, Officer.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketWe all know where this suit has been. *shudder*

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe Taylors and their illegitimate child.

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Then the real entertainment begins...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketJames is really getting down with his bad self.

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Hours later...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketAnd people wonder why I love High Wycombe and its inhabitants.

Max Beach...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketGlennie looks happy, but in actuality that face says "I'm fucking hungry and I'm not waiting until 11 to eat."

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketA beautiful sight.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe margaritas have just started flowing, and yet I can't keep my eyes open!

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketHurrying to get these done so we could move onto the banana daiquiris.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketManliest picture ever.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketRichie obviously enjoyed that sip.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThis dinner was SO good!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketBetter than Jo's drink apparently.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketStill relatively coherent.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketMaybe slightly less so.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"What am I supposed to do with these?"
*puts them on his face*
"Oh, in that case!"

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket5 euro tiaras haggled down to 2 euros! Can't beat that! Mine sits on my bedroom floor as I write this.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe whole "coherence" thing has long since gone.

The following night at the cocktail bar...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThe drinks were like works of art.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThat's mine, and yes that is a whole banana.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketBe still my beating heart.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketGoing...
Going...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketGone.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketMouthful of salt.

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Port Side...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketThis was the "nip slip" night. Well, I say nip slip. It apparently was "more a bit of shadowing." Enough said.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI apologise if this gives you nightmares.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketKebabs-a-plenty

Last Night -- Valparaiso. How posh and classy are we?

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketWhy do I have 20 versions of every picture? And more importantly, why do I post them all?

The "Killer" Series...

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI'm so not intimidating.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketGlennie, on the other hand...

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketFuck's sake!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketSam looks more terrified than anything!

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketYou can dress him up, but you can't take him out.

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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketRemember that thing about us being classy?

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And, we're off...
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI think there MAY have been some 'shopping involved here.

And so it ends. After the six torturous months leading up to it, it did not disappoint.

Even though this post may have. :-)